Hurry Up and Wait.

In college I would always need to hurry up to stand at the bus stop and wait for it to come. Or we would need to hurry up to class and wait for the GSI's because they're running late. Well now, I feel like I'm starting that pattern again. I hurry up to do something, just to wait for the next thing to happen. Why can't things run smoothly? Hurry up to the bus stop and right when you get there the bus arrives? Why am I in such a rush to grow up? What is the purpose of my life? Lately I feel like I've been pushy about the wedding, I used to feel in a rush to buy a house (but I still think that if I had the means, I should have), I feel like I'm in a constant hurry to do things and finish. What do I do when I'm finish?

Should I be anxious for March 6th to arrive? It's the first day of our trip to Costa Rica. But at the same time, I don't want it to get here so quickly because Jon hasn't gotten his passport yet, Jon hasn't email the hotel about the activities yet. Should I email them? I've been asking him for about 2 or 3 weeks now and he hasn't done it. On the other hand, when March 6th arrives and I'll be making my way to Costa Rica, it's going to be a bittersweet day at work. So what is the hurry of getting to March?

I feel like I have a lot of things going on in my head. I'm glad I already filed taxes, I took care of bank accounts, I took care of the goods, but now I still need to take care of my money and follow up on the ownership of my car. When I sleep, I feel like I am worrying and planning my day in head, AS I SLEEP! I feel overwhelmed sometimes. I'm glad Jonathan is able to come often and visit me, or else I would go crazy. AND my room is now relaxing, welcoming, and peaceful, so I can now rest when I'm home.

I'm a mess. I wish work wasn't so secretive. I don't like secrets, especially when it affects a lot of people. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh