The Perception of Marriage

Why do people think what they think about marriage?
I think there are several avenues that influence our perception of marriage. For instance what we experience growing up with our parents can make you think marriages can last forever OR they can make you think that they are doomed to failure and end in a divorce or worse. There is also the media and reality TV shows like The Bachelor that can sway your thoughts, or even statistics and seeing divorce rates increase throughout the years.

How can you make an informed decision?
Weigh the importance of each. What do you think is more important - personal experience, reality shows and the media, or statistics? My answer: Personal Experience.

Jonathan and I come from families where our parents are still together - over 25 years of being together. Out of my 100 close relatives, I only know of 3 divorces, two of which should have never been marriages to begin with because their values where complete opposite. No one is perfect but I think that when you are dating you get to see the quirks of your significant other. Coming from a neat and clean freak, at first I was afraid by Jonathan's messiness. I could not believe some of the things he did. When I first saw his "room" aka junk yard in college, I was afraid. Two and a half years later, he is still the same - unorganized, messy, and sloppy. Will he change? Probably not. Can I live with it? Oh yes I'm the super cleaner! :)

I'm not saying I am perfect either because I can pretty stubborn and a perfectionist, which is something he has had time to think about if he can put up with forever.

Marriage is a friendship, a partnership, someone to support you, cheer you on (and vice verse), and someone who you can truly be yourself with.

The Proposal

Jonathan and I are ENGAGED!

He proposed this weekend on Friday April 23rd, on our monthaversary! I drove to Jonathan's parents' house on Friday night after work to help paint his new room on Saturday morning. When I arrived at his house it was funny because he was anxious to show me the sample of the paint on the wall. When he opened the door there was a huge sign that read: WILL YOU MARRY ME? in a green-ish paint but I wasn't sure if it was for me or if it was a left over of when his sister's fiancee proposed to his sister hahaha! BUT - when he came in front of me and got down on one knee, I KNEW IT WAS FOR ME! I could not stop smiling. He opened the box and started to say how we are meant to be. He put the ring on my finger and we hugged forever! I called my parents and we went out for drinks to celebrate!

Photography

Today is my day off so I'm going to do a double wammy:)
I've been clicking away since 7:15am this morning since my parents and Angel woke me up and I couldn't fall back asleep.

I started to research photographers in the area since a lot of the blogs I've been reading were featuring photographers from the bay, Utah, Texas, Maryland, Massachusetts, etc. I had recently found Bella Pictures which would amount to about $3200 plus tax and service fees for 8 hours and an album. Studio Blue would offer the same coverage and the album for $2100 plus tax and fees. BUT today I found Rob Greer and his style of photography was 10 times more artistic than Bella and Studio Blue.

(all photographs from above from Rob Greer's Blog)
Rob Greer Photography reminds me of Jonathan Canlas' style, cutting faces off and getting different angels to make the photograph feel more artsy.

P.S. Packages have very decent price points!

Venue Hunting

I have been reading blogs ever since we were planning Karla's wedding and after reading so many of them and reading how they started to venue hunt ever since they were pre-engaged makes me feel NORMAL. Staying within a budget is what the issue is when venue hunting, it takes about a year to plan the wedding details and it looks like it takes even longer if u have to search for the bigger aspects of the wedding like the venue.

There are so many features to keep in mind when venue hunting: indoor or outdoor, garden, yacht, loft, hotel, country club, museum, restaurant, parking available, ceremony site, morning, after noon, evening, all day, outside catering, sit down meals or buffet, alcoholic beverages allowed, round tables, squared tables, rectangular tables, loud music allowed, dance floor, and cost.

Right now, I'm looking at the cost to be my most important factor. I've contacted several more venues and it looks like I'll be doing more research.

-The Long Beach Museum of Art replied back and it turns out my minimum cost would be $20907.83 BUT my budget is $10,300. NO THANK YOU.

-The Oviatt Penthouse also replied and that venue would cost me a set up fee of $5500 which should include all the amenities listed on the website plus $52 pp for food. For a max of 125 I would pay $12,000 plus tax and service charges would put me at about $15,000- which is still outside of my $10,300 budget

- Coco Palm Restaurant

(I found today) has a lot of the features I'm looking for. They also have a very informative website (which is a plus!!!) I haven't even contacted them and I have already been able to make several breakdowns:

Havana Menu (Salad, Main Entrée, Dessert) Dinner $57.95 pp

Buffet – 3 items from each section $46.95 pp

Buffet – 4 items from each section $49.95 pp

Ceremony $8 pp

Cash Bar $150 per bartender

Corking Fee $10 per bottle

Child Entrée $18.95

Cake cutting & plating fee (waived with packages) $1.75 pp

Chiavari Chairs $7 pp

Extra Hours $399 per hour

My costs: for 125 people

Havana Menu, Ceremony, Cash Bar, 5 bottles, Cake, Chairs, Tax, Service Charge: $12,560.89

Buffet 3 items, Ceremony, Cash Bar, 5 bottles, Cake, Chairs, Tax, Service Charge: $10,750.01

Buffet 4 items, Ceremony, Cash Bar, 5 bottles, Cake, Chairs, Tax, Service Charge: $11,243.89

I think we may have a leader: It has outdoor venues, parking, we can have the ceremony there, alcoholic beverages are allowed, loud music is allowed, they have a dance floor, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY it is very close to my budget!

Budgeting

Planning a wedding wouldn't be hard if I had all the money in the world - but I don't - so it's going to take lots of time and patience to find the better steal. Easier said than done. I've been on the hunt for cheaper venues and it is hard when we can't afford $100 a person plus drinks and set up fees.

Objective: Find an outdoor ceremony and reception venue AND cost of food must be between $50 and $55 a person.

Originally I had created a TOTAL budget of $18524, with a budget of 10300 for the ceremony and reception costs. Now that we are considering buying a home before the wedding, I must reconsider a lot of factors when planning this event. 1. what matters most to me when looking for a ring, venue, photographer, and a dress 2. total size of my party, who should be invited 3. where can i cut my costs

We've looked into a couple of venues. We've looked at the Marina del Rey Ritz Carlton and we were so lucky because a wedding was happening when we stayed there so I was able to see the set-up of the ceremony and the reception. Unfortunately it didn't scream out my name.

Yesterday I requested information from the Mountain Gate Country Club (since websites don't put any prices up). I was so disappointed to find that they charged a minimum of $97 a person plus drinks and set up fees and all sort of expenses that we cannot afford.

List of possible contenders:
The Oviatt Penthouse - a rooftop ceremony and reception overlooking beautiful Los Angeles
The Westin Bounaventure - the plaza pool deck (which happens to be the biggest so probably the most expensive)
The Long Beach Art Museum - a garden setting ceremony and reception overlooking the beach, pictures below are from their website.

If anyone has any suggestions to keep the venue cost at $$ instead of $$$ please let me know!

My 1st Wedding Board

A lot of thought has gone into this first inspirational board, click on the image to enlarge. I have no idea how Kathryn from Snippet & Ink makes so many of these, almost on a daily basis, hats off to you girl! I do want to give credit to her for giving me the idea of making this board and organizing my thoughts.

From top to bottom, left to right: Row 1. Bridesmaid dresses from I Love You Man from Dallas Wedding Planner Blog. Night venue view, Mountain Gate Country Club. The monogram was designed by the bf, approved by ME. The tie we purchased about a year ago by Geoffrey Beene.
Row 2. Day venue view, Mountain Gate Country Club. Orange and Yellow mixed yellow arrangement from OnceWed. Cup Cake arrangement from Sprinkles. The Ferrero Rocher chocolate name placements from Wedding Bee.
Row 3. The large orange table arrangement from Once Wed. The pink and yellow flower bouquet comes from Snippet & Ink. The dresses from I Love You Man again from Dallas Wedding Planner Blog. The long stemmed tulips from Martha Stewart Weddings.

New Adventure: Wedding

The bf and I have been talking about getting married lately A LOT... and since we've already gone to look at rings, we're talking about our wedding with friends and parents, I guess it's okay to start writing about it. If not, then this post will disappear as soon as Jon says so.

I have begun to create guest lists, budgets, and to-do lists. I will break down my adventures into budgets (most impt), venues, diy, bride, groom, stationary, flowers and details. The list will probably grow, but for now I think I have a good start.

As of last night, April 10, 2010, we officially have a monogram! I've been asking Jon to create something for the longest time and he just wouldn't take the time to do it, but yesterday I tied him down (metaphorically of course) and he made something that I instantly fell in love with! It's simple yet eye catching.


I am so excited to start this new journey with lots of energy and laughter with my better half who is taller, heavier, calmer, and funnier - but he is also lazier and messy.

Accessorizing my room

Most of the big changes had already been done in my room, new bed, new window treatment, new paint color on the walls. NOW I'm working on the final touches. I bought two huge squared picture frames and printed 2 posted size pictures from our Costa Rica trip and put them above my bed!
I'm just waiting on my dad to make me a side table/desk to match my bed and more art on the walls.